Are You Scared?

Are you scared?
Because I am
(Even if I try to hide it).
Will you be brave?
Because I will,
I'll try my hardest.
Because I know
This is what I want
And always will.
This is the fire I want
Burning in my soul
These are the words
I want pouring from my mind
And yours is the heart
I want them pouring into.

There's So Much

There's so much beauty between us.
There are so many layers
To every single interaction
And sometimes, for days on end,
I could pick apart things we've done,

And things we have,
And find more underneath.
This feels infinite.

There's so much beauty between us.
There are sparks that fly
In directions
We've never had cause
To think of before -
Making my hair stand
And my skin tingle
And my eyes light up
As my brain overloads with joy.
This feels exquisite.

There's so much beauty between us
There are words,
That trickle through my consciousness
Like a slow
But relentless flood,
Tied to emotion
But not bound to its fate -
Expressions of everything
We'd like to be,
Expressions of everything
We long to have,
Expressions of everything
That we could
And are meant to
Be.
This feels special.

This feels unique.

This feels like love.

Affirmation

Without pause
Without limit
Without boundary
In any form
With every single beat
That makes my heart quiver
With joy to know you
To experience you,
To live in a world where you exist,
With every electric spark
That ignites in my brain
With every breath
That fills these lungs of mine
(And, sometimes, yours as well
And then returns to me)
With every action
On my part
With anything,
Everything
I could do
To build you up,
I will affirm only one thing -
I love you.

If I Could Choose

If I could choose
One thing about you
That I, and I alone,
Could have,
I'd choose your eyes -
Those windows to your soul
That light up when we talk,
That fill my world
When they're aflame.
Oh how I long
To stare into them endlessly!
No...
I'd want your smile -
That cutesy half gurgly giggle
That tells me you're happy,
That I bring you joy,
That the stupid shit I say
And do,
Makes your heart lift.
No...
I'd want your fingers
And the urgency in their tips
As you stroke my arm,
My face, my back,
My entire being,
Or run them through my hair.
No...
I'd choose your voice -
That nuanced song
That's always, without fail,
Sung my heart into a trance -
A bringer of rhapsody,
A whirlwind that lifts me up,
Carries me to stranger parts
And brings me back,
Stronger, braver and whole.
No...
I'd choose your mind -
The force that defines you,
Of which, the rest
Are but artifacts -
That electric consciousness
That plugs right into my own
Sending impulses roaring through my nerves
Tripping circuits everywhere.
No...
I don't think, I can make a choice -
I'd always,
Always,
Choose you.

Enchantment

You're an incantation
That changed the structure
Of the universe around me,
When you were sung into existence,
In my world,
So the stars shone brighter
And the void between them
Grew so much smaller...
And when you went,
Even if only for a while,
Creation became
A colder place,
A dull and empty ache...
And when you return
And your song plays
For a soul
As lucky as my own,
There is only light
And soft breezes,
That blow from lung to lung,
Unsure which is which,
Or who is who,
And unconcerned
By trivial distinctions
Like those...
Zephyrs blow
And pick us up
Carrying us
To places we've gone before
But haven't been,
For so long.

Need

A song needs a tune
Or it aches along
Devoid of melody.
A poem needs words
Or it drifts along
In emptiness.
The wind needs air
Or it wafts along
Aimlessly.
The ocean needs water
Or it ceases to exist
As anything more
Than an empty hole
That once held something...
And I need you
Or I cease to be
In any way
That means anything.

My Little Scared One

She lives in the moment
And for it,
Telling herself it's because
The future is a scary place
Full of possible hurts and aches.
She's beautiful and wonderful
And lovely
But won't believe you
If you told her.
And you can't help but
Love her with all your heart.

The Closed Off Box of Nothing

Where grief lies in wait,
There is a holding of the breath,
A stagnation in the air.
There is a door that will not open,
Part of the walls that hold it in -
A closed off box of nothing,
From which nothing escapes.

Takotsubo

The trap is closed now,
The octopus caught,
Gutted and tenderized -
A pretty sounding word,
A stick,
Beating the pulp out of you,
Nonetheless.

Fill the pan with salted water -
The kind you rub in
To old wounds -
And bathe your grief
And it heats up fast.

Remove the senses,
Take out the eyes
Pry that beak off
And rip it apart.
Make the cut,
Make it quick,
Make it deep,
Make it stick.

Now prepare your table
And gather your food,
Put it together for
The one who'll come.
A meal for two,
You hope she'll love,
A meal for two,
But she doesn't show.
So tossed in the freezer
Like yesterday's leftovers,
You lie in wait
And die in silence,
Wondering if she came but left,
If she wanted to, but changed her mind,
If she ever wanted to at all...

Hope wilts away
In the morning's glare
With the spoils of your heart
In her upturned fist
The heart she'd once
Loved and valued and kissed -
Lies now, paralyzed:
A fragment of a future
Broken asunder,
A frozen reminder,
Of a formalized lack of union.

Smouldering and All Burnt Out

The fire burns dim
Inside my soul
Nothingness, is a cloud
Of ash and smoke...
Emptiness is like that.
I've lost my love
And all will to live
Or eke out survival,
That's all it is now.
The embers glow hot,
Reminiscent of lost potential.
Smoke pours out;
Acrid, pungent,
Inducing teary eyes.
I lie -
They were wet enough already.
I see the world
Through a veil of water
And the shapes blur
Into each other -
Confused emotions,
Drives and destinies.
How entwined are we
That I should feel this way?
But then,
How entwined could we be,
If you hide yourself away?

A Wish

I wish I was perfect.
I wish I could be everything
You ever want or need,
Not just enough
To make you happy,
I wish I could only bring you
Unadulterated bliss
And nothing less.
I wish I could never hurt you
Or have it in me to cause you pain
Because you deserve so much more
Than anything less than
All my love,
All of me,
Everything I could give to you,
Every last bit of my soul.
I know that nothing
Is ever perfect
And I know that expecting it to be
Is unreasonable,
But I hope it counts for something
That I really wish it was.

I'd Follow You

You exhale soft puffs of moist air,
Gravel crunches under soft soles,
As you breathe me in
And I breathe you.
I'd follow you,
Can't you see -
It doesn't matter where
As long as you're with me.
I'd follow you into the void,
Into the cold dark emptiness of space
Just to get you back, you know,
To where it's warm and safe.
I'd follow you into the darkest mood -
The hopelessness and unending gloom
And a light a candle for our love,
Watch its flame build and bloom,
Plant a little garden of candles,
Little love lights -
Orange scents and more.
And then leave it to spread
Out into the world
As it did before.
And I'll keep an eye out
To the distant horizon
Hoping, wishing forever
That we'll find this again,
That we'll lose ourselves
In each other.

The Straits of Stability

Upon this pristine shore
Walks an elven maiden
With long strides but slow -
There is no time in heaven.
And beside her perfect form
Walks her love, a man,
With stride matched for stride,
Just a different span.

As one follows the lines,
The other goes between
And the moon shines 'pon water
That fades before the sheen
Of smiles and radiant glow
That lights their holy night
One of many, come and gone,
Part of futures bright;
Of love burning in earnest,
A rare and true gift
A mark of the thing
That makes heart and soul lift.

A starlit night glistens
And shimmers out in space
As the waters flow between us
Making heart and soul race
Two stars are caught up
In the vortex of love so warm
And the universe expands
In a way unlike its norm.

We walk through cobblestone lanes
And to the sea shore
We walk down starlit avenues
And then, walk some more.
My hand is locked in yours,
The place where it belongs,
Held behind your back
As we walk along.

We kiss
Though we planned not to
We kiss
Because we know we ought to
Hold each other close,
Drinking in each others' smile
Breathing in so deeply,
Staying still awhile.

And the skies
They whirl above us,
As the winds
Blow down to greet us
Lifting our souls up
To a purple-black canopy
As if they needed lifting,
So buoyant are we.

So we go ahead,
And make our way
To a quiet little cove -
A cafe held above the grime
Of a city of old.
We stare out across the bay -
Lovers lost in their view,
Sipping coffee
That's neither too sweet nor bitter,
Just like us two.

Your eyes shine as you look to me,
As way back then, they shone,
And your lips glisten as they part
And press against my own.