Sensorial

I melt into the walls
And am subsumed by the room
I'm locked in a surreal dream
With crepe curtains,
Walls with rugged, running spines
And talk that is neither here nor there,
Except I wonder where that might be...
Smoke curls around me
(The pipes are blowing hard tonight)
And I follow it -
The ups and downs of a life
Surrendered to the inevitable -
With an untrained mind
Struggling to remain in control
Of some sort or form.
I hope I find you again
I hope you find strength
I hope I do too,
Because it will take so much
To risk my soul again.

The Unknown

We cast off...
Surrender ourselves to the winds,
Hoping to find a way home
Or at least to safer shores
And, maybe, a storm will catch us,
And upset this flimsy raft...
But, maybe, that chance must be taken.

I hope I find you
When the wind dies down,
Rather than sleep in a watery grave,
Dead and unloved
For lack of you

And until that day,
When hope comes answered,
Look for me in the sea,
The wind will whisper you my love.

Hailing

A whisper,
A cry
And an endless
Empty sky
Chills the soul
And melts the borders
A hopeful dream
A wish
A sweet longing
To just exist
Beckons slowly
Across the waters

You wouldn't exist
If words did not
Even in action
Not least in thought
Another lost soul
Among the drifters

Seaweed
And whirling gulls
Painted shores
And painted hulls
As pictures go,
Perfect…
Reminders.

A desperate call,
A forgotten word
A curling wind
That blows seaward
Evanescent,
Just vapours.
As never before
And never again
Like the passing of
April’s rain
The thought blinks once
And disappears.

Smouldering and All Burnt Out

The fire burns dim
Inside my soul
Nothingness, is a cloud
Of ash and smoke...
Emptiness is like that.
I've lost my love
And all will to live
Or eke out survival,
That's all it is now.
The embers glow hot,
Reminiscent of lost potential.
Smoke pours out;
Acrid, pungent,
Inducing teary eyes.
I lie -
They were wet enough already.
I see the world
Through a veil of water
And the shapes blur
Into each other -
Confused emotions,
Drives and destinies.
How entwined are we
That I should feel this way?
But then,
How entwined could we be,
If you hide yourself away?

These Words Are Broken

These words are broken
And will not write
Themselves into beautiful lines
Of elegant verse.
These lines are crooked
And sound so off
Everything's wrong
With all of this song.
These letters are dancing,
But it's no parade -
Maybe a march,
A funereal one -
An elegiac dance
Mourning a battered hope.
These words are broken
Or maybe, it's just me.

The Dreaded Gulf of Fearfulness

Alone I stand upon a precipice
And look upon the rocks
That litter the landscape
That's been my life.
Alone I stand, as do you
Upon facing cliffs
Across a wide ocean
That you dare not cross
For fear of who-knows-what.
You see me,
But you look away,
As I stare out towards you.
I know you've seen me,
I see your eyes.
But do you know I see?
You want to turn
And look again,
But you don't.
Why? You can't? You won't?
Why? Is it fear?
Is it not enough?
Is it too much?
You look at me
But avoid my eyes,
Windows to this soul of mine.
Are you afraid to see me as I am -
Just a man who loves you,
Enough to change time and space,
Though flawed he is
And always will be?
Or are they mirrors
That reflect only your uncertainty
And doubt, and fear,
And who-knows-what?
Look at me across this sea
As I look to you,
Look to me.
Look into these eyes, and see
Look, please look...
Trust me.

Pretense

I don't want to miss you
I don't want to pine for you
So I hide from it,
Like the last snowflake in the sun
Clutching its crystals to itself,
Trying to hold its story together,
Hiding behind abstractions,
Hiding behind fantasies.
I tell myself you'll love me forever,
You'll be crazy about me
And this enforced time will make us realize
How we cannot be apart.
But I know it's just as likely
That we know nothing:
That life has something else in mind...
So I try to break free and create a new story,
But it can only be that -
A work of fiction, beautiful and poetic,
Powerful and moving,
Untrue, nonetheless.
Is it fair,
To anyone, that I do this?
Am I not prolonging the pain,
Holding on to the sword that pierced me,
Digging it in deeper to remind myself
That I was here
And it was glorious
And worth fighting for.
But was it?
Why didn't we fight, then?
Why did we surrender like cowards,
Unconvinced by their own arguments?
Why did we let it go, if it meant so much?
And why do I agonize over it now,
When it is too late...

Cellestial Collisions

Are we just planets
Passing in the void?
Do you really think
In all the great, vast universe,
Two souls such as ours
Tailor made to each other
Would be created
And, against all odds,
Pass by each other
With no real meaning
Behind it?
I have been sucked into your orbit
By forces deeper
And stronger than I
And now we face a choice -
Do we pass on
Axes knocked akilter
From our brief and powerful interaction?
Or do we risk crashing into each other
To create something new
And beautiful and better?
Or both be blasted into oblivion
Scattered remnants
Through boundless emptiness?
Our paths would intersect
But once awhile
Unless they merge to form one course -
A celestial coupling
To stand time's test.

Please

I roam this barren wasteland
And everywhere I see your name
Carved into the rocks and stones and trees
Of my heart.
Please don't leave me here alone
This world was made for us
I am broken without you
Hollow and barely alive.
My heart exists for you
To hold you up
And be held up in return
To stand by you in times of need
To bask
In the glorious beauty of your soul.
Please accept it,
It's all I have to give.